Vegemite Kids

For the past couple of months, my son has refused to take Vegemite sandwiches to school. This is coming from a kid who was raised on the stuff, has painted his face in it, and typically adores a good Vegemite rollick through the undulations of soft, fluffy, wholegrain bread or cruskits or vita weat.

An Aussie kid tradition, really.

So, it was with intrigue that this Vegemite refusal mysteriously appeared. Upon subtle interrogation, I discovered that one of the boys in Riley's class hates the stuff and has spread ('scuse the pun) it around the school that eating Vegemite is not 'cool'.

Yes, I know you can hear my teeth grinding from here. And yes, I know you know what I'd like to do to that kid (paint his face with Vegemite).

I'll admit it. I like to resort to a good old Vegemite sandwich in the lunchbox when all the cheese and ham and olives and tomatoes and avocado is in sudden short supply (and of course, we can forget about peanut butter). But that creative licence is now gone thanks to some little kid and his penchant for Declarations of Cool.

This got me to thinking about how the smallest things we do can often heavily impact the lives of others. Sometimes it's deliberate but often it's inadvertent, as is the case with the Vegemite Slayer in Riley's class.

This morning, after a late night working, I realised I hadn't made the kids' sandwiches. Running out of time, I reached straight for the Vegemite - only to be rattled by a harrowing wail from Riley... no Vegemite sandwiches! he wailed in horror. That's right - he'd rather go sandwichless than suffer the perils of anti-cool indignation fostered by Vegemite Slayer.

Thankfully, all is not lost. Riley did indulge in a very secret golden crumpet, drenched in butter and skerricks of Vegemite for breakfast this morning - savoury, delicious bliss. He gobbled every bite. He wiped his mouth of all evidence and he skipped off to school with a Vegemite-free sandwich.

There may be a teeth grinding, frustrated mother at home but at least there's a kid who is not about to suffer the horror of being marked 'uncool'. We couldn't have that now, could we?